Tears

Tears

They come so unexpected
the tears and the emotions

You thought they were long gone
and never would come back

And here they come and let you feel
that they are only love
disguised as
emotions
tears
thoughts
sensations
associations
perceptions
memories

So that is what they are
love disguised as
whatever love’s form is …

Love and sex

Who did ever tell you
that love had anyhting to do with sex?

Who did ever tell you
that love had anything to do with troth?

Who did ever tell you
that love had anyhting to do with form?

I am about to tell you
that this is not the truth,
that this is just a story
that people used to tell

The love you’re looking for
can not be found outside
The love you’re looking for
is the essence of your soul

This is a whole new story
that is the truth, perhaps.
It’s not possible to believe this
One day you can just BE it …

Christmas story

Christmas story

It was Christmas Eve and you came to me. It was a cold and clear night, stars at the sky and a full moon. In silence we packed everything: sleeping bag, hot tea, candles, some food, a rug and a torch. We put on our boots, hat, mittens and a shawl.

We got into the car and went our way. It was dark, although the moon was there and it was silent. Most people were inside. The trees along the little roads guided us as true keepers. The little roads winded through the countryside. When the tar ended, we parked the car on the sandy path, got our stuff and started walking.

The torch lit the path in front of us as we walked our way in the deepest silence, accompanied by the stars and the moon. We were heading towards the place I knew so well. The place that had comforted me, encouraged me, supported me and embraced me. The place that gave me joy, gratitude and stillness.

There, we put down the rug, wrapped the sleeping bag around us and sat down. The vast stillness touched us. The ground and the sky were one in darkness.

In silence we sat, drinking the still darkness, sunk into the depths within. The first waves came. A ripple, then a wave and then a tidal wave. Streams of tears, sounds, movement came and went away.

Feeling took the place of wanting. Surrender took the place of fear. Gratitude took the place of uncertainty. Abundance poured out of each pore. The heathland received all tears, all emotions. The ground on which we sat, flooded fear with gratitude and uncertainty with surrender.

You and me sat silently with tears on our cheeks. The shooting stars didn’t make a single noise. The first clouds started to hide the moon. Darkness surrounded us more and more. We looked at each-other. Our tears glittered in the candle light. We drank our hot tea.

The waves disappeared together with the light of the stars and the moon. What was left was stillness that came to shore, here, in this heat-land.

We rose, folded the rug, packed the basket and rolled the sleeping bag. In silence we walked back to where we came from. The wind blew in our face now and the first snowflakes stayed on our coats.

Then nature started to whisper: “You didn’t come to me; I came to Me”, the branches swept in our face. “You didn’t come to me; you came to You”, the grass hummed. “You didn’t come to me; I was always here “, the heat-land rustled. Never were these sentences so familiar as they were now on this Christmas Eve. Tears filled my eyes: tears of recognition; tears of stillness; tears of gratitude. And you, you were there: inseparably connected and not connected. You went with me, all days and nights. You walk with me: all nights and days. There is no difference between you and me. There is no you and me. There only is …

Forgive

Forgive

If you forgive someone, who forgives who?
If you forgive someone for something, what do you forgive the otherone for?

What is forgiving?
And when you forgive someone, what happens precisely?

If you believe that the other could have done differently than he did,
could have been different than he was,
could have known better than he knew,
could have been more conscious than he was,
then you believe that you know, beyond any doubt, that the other in those circumstances, in that moment,
could and should have done differently and could and should have been different than he was.

If you realize that the other did the best he could,
was who he was,
knew what he knew,
was as conscious as he could be,
then you know, deep in you, that the other did precisely what he could do at that moment in those circumstances.

If you realize that for yourself, you don’t have to forgive.

Then compassion comes on her soft feet, enters your heart and love flows unconditionally …