When you see the wave in someone else,
the wave of anger, sorrow, fear,
you can be the beach
When you see the wave in you,
the wave of reaction, knowing better, arrogance,
You can be the beach
When you are the beach
all waves
of you
of someone else
can finally
come ashore
Fleeing is
keeping on living in the dark illusion we call life
Fleeing is
denying the pain that leads to life
Pain is
the portal that leads to Stillness …
It’s also there for you
my precious child of God
The pain is in the past now
With confidence and trust
with dedicated love
Not knowing where you’ll go
You peel
and peel
and peel
And in the depth
It finds
You …
Imprisoned in the madness we call life
Imprisoned in the monumental material world
I walk, lost, searching for me
Not knowing there is nothing to search
Everytime I walk the way to where there is no way anymore
To find myself at the place where I always was
Never left, never returned
I was always there
where I thought
I never was
Darkness
suppressed
unreachable
for Light
Fear
suppressed
unreachable
for Love
Pain
suppressed
unreachable
for Life
You
suppressed
unreachable
for You
You have touched my deepest depths
my deepest despair
my deepest pain
my deepest sorrow
my deepest fear
You have touched my deepest depths
my deepest joy
my deepest truth
my deepest peace
my deepest love
I have touched my deepest depths
and thought that it was you …
Butterflies of preciousness
Just woken up in openess
Fly so gently through thin air
On their way to no man’s land
Landing there in silent places
Of the open wounded heart
Working, still in loving comfort
Healing wounds that were not there
And return to distant farness
With a fragment of our hearts …
Walking through the dripping forest, abandonned by people, I walked my way. Raindrops on my hair, silent noice of rain falling upon the leaves, putting one foot in front of the other and some old friends payed me a visit.
The forestpath was filled with thoughts, old familiar thoughts, from long ago, my old familiar friends.
“I am not good enough”, kissed me tenderly and disappeared into the rain.
“It is not there for me”, came to me, with hesitation, looked at me, a little shy and dissolved in the wind.
“Nobody loves me”, looked at me, so penetrative, lovingly; she was with me for so many years. It was hard for her to go. Slowly she turned around, looked upon me for the last time and merged with the air.
I stood and saw them go, tears in my eyes. They were so familiar to me; they had given me so much. It was time for them to go. Silence came upon me. I put down my backpack and sat on the moss. One by one they passed, the people who helped me say goodbye to these old friends. Deep gratitude came over me for them, who helped me and still do.
At home, dry clothes, tea, woodstove on, I still feel the gentleness of the rain, the forestpath and the forest. The forest that is my home, that cherishes me, gives me my answers. The forest that is there, unmovable. The forest that I am.
Brought up with:
“It is better to give than to receive”
Made numb with
“It’s not there for me”
Fighting pain
of unfull-filled desire:
Giving is so much safer than receiving
Later learning
to open your hands
Experiencing slowly
the joy of fullness
Receiving is giving
Giving is receiving.
To love is nothing special,
“To love” that is what you are made of
When you live something else
than “to love”,
you feel it,
that hurts,
sometimes a lot
And when you are used to the pain,
when you don’t feel that as pain anymore,
when it feels like it was always like that
Then, to meet: “To love” is
Lifethreatening
Wonderwalk 