I hold you in my arms
with gentle tenderness
Your fear, your pain,
your feelings, your thoughts,
your joy, your sorrow,
your birth, your death
And when the time has come
then I will let you go
and you will never know
that I have ever held you …
You have touched my deepest depths
my deepest despair
my deepest pain
my deepest sorrow
my deepest fear
You have touched my deepest depths
my deepest joy
my deepest truth
my deepest peace
my deepest love
I have touched my deepest depths
and thought that it was you …
The searching had no end so far
Always ongoing and intense
And with it came the old old pain
which every find revealed
When finding came in that dark night
And searching found her home
Compassion poured from finding’s eyes
With tenderness and tears
Clear Love was firmly standing there
No more disguised as form;
The wanting left you in the end
And you found who you are
How does it feel inside of you when you lie to someone you love very much?
Sometimes we believe things that don’t feel good inside of us.
We believe that the situation should be different than it is.
We believe that we should have done things differently in our life.
We believe that we want to be with somebody else than the one we are with right now.
We believe that our children should love us.
We believe that we have to do something to get love.
We believe that we should get love from somebody else.
We believe that we are not worthy to receive love.
Does this feel inside of you as if you are lying to someone you love?
When you believe these statements you are lying to someone you love so dearly: YOU.
Walking through the dripping forest, abandonned by people, I walked my way. Raindrops on my hair, silent noice of rain falling upon the leaves, putting one foot in front of the other and some old friends payed me a visit.
The forestpath was filled with thoughts, old familiar thoughts, from long ago, my old familiar friends.
“I am not good enough”, kissed me tenderly and disappeared into the rain.
“It is not there for me”, came to me, with hesitation, looked at me, a little shy and dissolved in the wind.
“Nobody loves me”, looked at me, so penetrative, lovingly; she was with me for so many years. It was hard for her to go. Slowly she turned around, looked upon me for the last time and merged with the air.
I stood and saw them go, tears in my eyes. They were so familiar to me; they had given me so much. It was time for them to go. Silence came upon me. I put down my backpack and sat on the moss. One by one they passed, the people who helped me say goodbye to these old friends. Deep gratitude came over me for them, who helped me and still do.
At home, dry clothes, tea, woodstove on, I still feel the gentleness of the rain, the forestpath and the forest. The forest that is my home, that cherishes me, gives me my answers. The forest that is there, unmovable. The forest that I am.
Agnus Dei
qui tollis peccata mundi
miserere nobis
could also mean:
Innocent Light in me
that is hidden
under the burden
of my unconsciousness conditioning
bring me Home
You take care of your home, your garden, your children, your job.
You take care of you, your personal development, your personal growth.
You do all this with a lot of love and dedication.
You think: because of my dedication I am where I am now.
Did you ever ask yourself:
Where did this dedication come from?
To love is nothing special,
“To love” that is what you are made of
When you live something else
than “to love”,
you feel it,
that hurts,
sometimes a lot
And when you are used to the pain,
when you don’t feel that as pain anymore,
when it feels like it was always like that
Then, to meet: “To love” is
Lifethreatening
Sometimes you don’t want to meet another, the other, every other, the one who is closest to you, any longer
You avoid him or her, don’t get in touch, you hide, you become invisible, unreachable.
Sometimes you do this very obvious, sometimes very sneaky and in you, you feel the pain, the pain of segregation and separation.
The pain you are experiencing is the pain telling you that you do not want to meet the other anylonger,
you do not want to meet yourself in the other.
The other shows you you, always.
The other exists only in you.
The other is you
Wonderwalk 