If you forgive someone, who forgives who?
If you forgive someone for something, what do you forgive the otherone for?
What is forgiving?
And when you forgive someone, what happens precisely?
If you believe that the other could have done differently than he did,
could have been different than he was,
could have known better than he knew,
could have been more conscious than he was,
then you believe that you know, beyond any doubt, that the other in those circumstances, in that moment,
could and should have done differently and could and should have been different than he was.
If you realize that the other did the best he could,
was who he was,
knew what he knew,
was as conscious as he could be,
then you know, deep in you, that the other did precisely what he could do at that moment in those circumstances.
If you realize that for yourself, you don’t have to forgive.
Then compassion comes on her soft feet, enters your heart and love flows unconditionally …
Thank you for another uplifting post.
Here are some more beautiful words on forgiveness from Lesson 122 in “A Course in Miracles.”
“What could you want forgiveness cannot give? Do you want peace? Forgiveness offers it. Do you want happiness, a quiet mind, a certainty of purpose, and a sense of worth and beauty that transcends the world? Do you want care and safety, and the warmth of sure protection always? Do you want a quietness that cannot be disturbed, a gentleness that never can be hurt, a deep, abiding comfort, and a rest so perfect it can never be upset?
All this forgiveness offers you, and more. It sparkles on your eyes as you awake, and gives you joy with which to meet the day. It soothes your forehead while you sleep, and rests upon your eyelids so you see no dreams of fear and evil, malice and attack. And when you wake again, it offers you another day of happiness and peace. All this forgiveness offers you, and more.”
Thank you for the comment. I also read this lesson 122 (in Dutch!!). What this lesson doesn’t say or explain is, that once you come to realize that no one ever did anything wrong, including yourself, that forgiveness is not necessary. And, according to my experience, forgiveness doesn’t even exist. Forgiveness has a taste of superiority, like: “I” know better and “I” forgive you. When you realize that you and the other are the same, then there is nothing to forgive and compassion and love arise.
The Course is radically non-dualistic and would agree with you. It calls the type of forgiveness that you describe as “forgiveness to destroy.”
In a supplement to the Course called the “Song of Prayer” it is asked “Who can forgive and yet despise?”
What prevents us from seeing the “same” is the ego’s desire to see “sin” in the “other.” So in Course terminology you are forgiving your own illusions.
This is onew of the nice and wonderful poems I have red in my life. It touches the inner heart and deepen the relationship with someone you have never forgiven. Now I realise that forgivenss comes first before anything even bofore the apology. When you forgive you stay at peace with that person and the love always flows like stream of water in chilly wind and you start experiencing the breeze of wonderful like in you.
Keep on posting more poems I like reading and understanding too.